


Guilty Conscience

by Gayle_fic



Series: Long Road Ahead [5]
Category: Actor RPF, Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Developing Relationship, Evanstan - Freeform, Friends to Lovers, Girlfriends - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-27 01:10:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gayle_fic/pseuds/Gayle_fic
Summary: Chris is unsure and Sebastian doesn't want to be messed about.





	Guilty Conscience

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for reading :)

It had been two days since Sebastian had spoken to Chris on the phone, but their text exchange had heated up. There had been no weird facts just wonderfully filthy innuendo. Sebastian knew he had been hasty in suggesting they meet up especially with both of their partners in town. He should have waited until the European leg of the promotional tour.

There had been discussion on where they should meet. Chris had been quick to invite him to his house, Jenny would be out, and they would have some privacy.

_C - Not that I’m expecting anything, I don’t want you to think I’m using you._

_S – Then I’m really not sure why I’m coming over?_

_C – Wouldn’t you want to just hang out with me, cos I’m a fun cool guy?_

_S – I don’t know who told you, you are these things! I purely see you as a sex object._

Sebastian had left Margo to go for her audition, she had been so happy that he had agreed to come out with her to LA. Sebastian had felt the guilt hit home, he shouldn’t be doing this, but somehow, he felt he could hide behind her, that maybe he wasn’t doing this with Chris. He wasn’t involved with Chris Evans, he was in a committed relationship with his girlfriend. He had flown across country to support his girlfriend, not for a quick fumble with a guy he had been friends with for years. _Jesus_.

Sebastian’s uber driver pulled up outside the gate, Sebastian sat for a moment and checked his phone. He had messaged Chris to say he was on his way, but he still had the opportunity to turn back. Sebastian knew he needed that bit of encouragement from Chris to be doing any of this in the first place.

Sebastian rang the doorbell and waited, he could hear barking from inside and the door being unlocked. Sebastian didn’t have a chance to feel nervous, as soon as the door was opened, he was jumped on by Dodger, Chris’ dog.

“Down Dodger!” Chris commanded and Dodger sat at Sebastian's feet, his energy uncontrollable.

“Hey buddy.” Sebastian said, he couldn’t resist and was down with Dodger rubbing at his belly as the bundle of fluff rolled on his back with joy. Sebastian looked up and smiled to say hi to Chris, but Chris motioned to the phone stuck to his ear. He pointed down the hall to the lounge and Dodger dashed off to retrieve a toy for Sebastian to see.

Sebastian has followed behind. He had never been to Chris’ house before and felt strangely at home. Sebastian slipped his jacket off and threw it over the back of the sofa before he was greeted again by Dodger but this time with a huge toy in his mouth. He bent down beside him and rubbed behind his ears trying not to listen into Chris’ call, but when he heard his name, he couldn’t help but look up and watch Chris stride round the room.

“Yeah Sebastian has just arrived…. I told you last night… Just a couple of hours.”

Sebastian attention was drawn to the way Chris’ waist tapered in and his sweats hung over his ass. He didn’t think he had ever looked before, he could see as Chris ran a hand up in thought his hair how his t-shirt rode up and he could just catch a glimpse of his skin beneath it.

“Okay, I’ll ask but they probably… yes but… okay, I love you too.” Chris hung up with sigh and stared at the phone for a minute before looking to Sebastian who was still pouring affection over Dodger.

Sebastian had averted his eyes, he suddenly felt like he was an intruder in a happy home and just listening to Chris on the phone made an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“I’m sorry about that.” Chris said walking up to Sebastian, who rose from the floor to greet him.

“No worries I got the best welcome.” He said looking down at Dodger and stuffed his hands in his pockets suddenly nervous about being there at all.

Chris could sense how Sebastian was feeling and he felt a bit like that himself, he had been calm but excited until Jenny had called and now it seemed to loom over them.

“Want a drink?” Chris offered, he reached out a squeezed Sebastian’s shoulder. He could feel how tense he was.

“Coffee would be good.” Sebastian said.

“I could get you something stronger.” Chris said smiling.

“Are you trying to get me drunk in the middle of the day?” Sebastian squinted his eyes at Chris in accusation. Chris laughed dispelling some of the tension.

Chris poured them both a coffee as they spoke, Sebastian sat on a stool on the other side of the counter from Chris, neither of them making a move to be closer.

“Not to make things awkward but Jenny has told me to ask you guys up for dinner tonight.” Chris said watching Sebastian take his cup over the counter.

“That’s… nice, but I’d need to check with Margo.” Sebastian said acknowledging how awkward it would be.

“Yeah.” Chris took a sip of coffee. “Jenny can be quite insistent, she’d kill me if I didn’t ask.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever met Jenny.” Sebastian said knowing the relationship was only a few months old.

“Yeah she’s great, funny, intelligent, you would her like a lot.” Chris could feel himself blushing under Sebastian’s gaze. “You and Margo, that must be a few years now?”

“Two.” Sebastian said nodding.

“That’s a long time.” Chris said. They both stared at each other as silence fell between them.

“This wasn’t a good idea, was it?” Sebastian said finally rubbing a hand over his face and looked down at the counter.

“Fuck, I don’t know.” Chris came around the counter and stood next to Sebastian. “Hey man, let’s not let this get weird.”

“No, I think we should just carry on as normal, I don’t want to fucking ruin a good friendship.” Sebastian said looking up at Chris, wondering if that what Chris wanted to hear.

“You guys should come over tonight,” Chris said encouragingly.

“You think?” Sebastian was even more unsure of coming into Chris’ home when his girlfriend is there.

“That’s what friends would do right.” Chris said patting Sebastian on the shoulder hard enough that he could have knocked him off the seat.

“We have been friends for how many years? And you have never invited me to your house.” Sebastian retorted with devilish grin.

Chris tried not to stare at Sebastian’s lips as he stood over him.

“Well to be fair up until five minutes ago you were just a booty call.” Chris said raising an eyebrow at Sebastian. He watched as Sebastian threw his head back and laughed. His eyes on his throat, he wanted to know what that light stubble would feel like if he tasted the crease of his neck.

“I was expecting the same welcome from you as I got from Dodger, you just rolling over and letting me rub your belly.” Sebastian said reaching out and rubbing his hand over Chris’ abs through the thin material of his t-shirt.

Chris caught Sebastian’s hand in his own where is was against his stomach, he couldn’t take his eyes off Sebastian’s. The heat between them was charged and as much as they had just agreed it was bad idea it was all either of them wanted. Chris fought the urge to lower Sebastian’s hand into his sweats where his cock was already getting hard.

“I can’t.” Chris said.

“I know.” Sebastian said standing so they were level.

Sebastian bit his lower lip and shook his head, he could see that Chris was looking for an out, for Sebastian to make the move for him but he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t be the one to come into Chris’ home and come between his relationship. He took his hand out of Chris’ and did his best to ignore Chris’ hard on.

“I’ll go, I’ll ask Margo about tonight but…” He trailed off.

“Yeah, yeah,” Chris said backing up and laughing, it was a forced laugh.

“Ok.” Sebastian reached down and patted Dodger’s head before heading for the door.

\--

Sebastian felt sick, he wondered aimlessly up and down the same stretch of road waiting on his girlfriend’s audition to be over. If he stopped for too long, he knew he’d pick up his phone and call Chris, tell him fuck being polite and just fuck him while he was here. He wondered if Chris was regretting letting Sebastian leave or whether he felt he had had a lucky escape?

Sebastian was just frustrated, he knew it wasn’t just him, Chris was as turned on at the thought of them together. He had wanted something to happen but his conscience had got the better of him because his relationship with Jenny was what? _New? Happy? Love?_ Sebastian wasn’t sure but he wished he knew. Maybe he was just jealous because he knew he wasn’t any of those things anymore.

Sebastian saw his girlfriend exit the building and wave as she approached. “Where’s your jacket?” She asked kissing him on the cheek.

“Shit!” Sebastian sighed.

For the second time that day he found himself outside Chris’ home, he felt ten times more nervous than he had that morning as he rang the bell. He had texted Chris to let him know he had left his jacket and he would be round shortly to pick it up, but they wouldn’t be staying. Chris had simply said _Good luck with that, Jenny is here._

They had been greeted as enthusiastically by Dodger, as he had been earlier. Sebastian had even got a hug from Chris, nothing sexual just polite as ever. Jenny welcomed them and they were soon seated out on the patio, drinks in hand and conversation flowing easily. Maybe this would be the best thing, Sebastian thought, it could ease the tension between them, and Chris might be right, and maybe he would like Jenny.

Both Chris and Sebastian were quieter than normal, they both had let the girls do the talking but added in here and there. The drinks had loosened them up but not enough to be completely at ease. Sebastian found himself watching Chris out the corner of his eye. He had changed into jeans as some point Sebastian noted; his eyes cast over his body; this was torture. Chris had adjusted his chair a few times, each time pulling him closer to Sebastian’s. Sebastian could tell Chris was wanting to say something but whatever it was it couldn’t be here not now.

“I miss the east coast, every time I’m here.” Jenny had said looking at Chris.

“I love New York,” Margo said, “We havew spoken about moving out here, but Sebastian isn’t as keen.”

“I don’t see the point, we have everything in New York and any jobs are a flight away and so much is now done through skype.” There was a tone to Sebastian’s voice. This had been a rehash of an argument they had had, and he didn’t want to go over it again. Chris sensed it and reached out and slapped a hand to Sebastian’s chest.

“I think you are right man, I’d stay in New York, that way there is still the excitement when coming out here for work. Once you are here in the long term, it loses its shininess and becomes a very different town.” Chris nodded at Sebastian and Sebastian returned a sharp smile.

“You’ll stay for dinner, right?” Jenny asked. It was getting late and she wasn’t ready to let the fun stop.

“That would be lovely, but we should really...” Sebastian started.

“Sebastian…” Margo looked at him and gave him a look.

He didn’t think he was being rude, but he knew the look, it was one that could easily start an argument.

“Well at least let me help.” He said gesturing to the kitchen and dispelling any potential fallout.

“Here we’ll get started.” Chris said getting up from his seat.

Sebastian followed Chris in to the kitchen, where he was handed a bag of stuff to prepare salad.

“This is just about in my remit.” Sebastian said trying to fill a silence between himself and Chris now they were alone. Taking the stuff out the bag he began rinsing it. “Salad and heating up if the instructions are clear.”

“Jenny is a great cook, I’ve learnt a few things, not that I was a complete novice myself.” Chris said reaching easily round Sebastian for another chopping board.

“Really?” Sebastian smirked. “What is your first date meal then.” He asked, Sebastian cursed himself at the stupid question and rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know if it would be a first date,” Chris laughed. “But if I managed to get them back to mine for a date and I was cooking for them…” Chris stopped and watched as Sebastian concentrated on slicing tomatoes. “I’d find out what their favourite food was and attempt it.”

Sebastian nodded and looked at Chris, he could feel him watching. “What?” He asked. “Am I doing this wrong?” Pointing to the tomatoes. Chris shook his head.

“You would be easy, you’d be Italian, something fun and saucy.” Chris said. He watched as the blush came into Sebastian’s cheeks.

“Right,” Sebastian nodded, not sure if he wanted to take the bait but Chris was putting it out there. “What would be for dessert?” His tone was sarcastic, and Chris didn’t miss it.

“Chocolate… but I’m sure you might have some better ideas.” Chris purred, his hand came and rested on Sebastian’s hip, a finger hooked over the waist of his jeans and nipped at the skin. Chris felt Sebastian react, a shiver and sigh.

Sebastian put the knife down and shook his head, he grabbed at the towel to wipe his hands and emptied his glass of wine down his throat.

“Have I said something wrong?” Chris said lowering his voice and pulling his hand away.

It was as much of a surprise to Sebastian, the anger that flowed through him. Here he was frustrated and wound up, the ease in which Chris turned on the charm and started flirting with him with his girlfriend just a short distance away. Chris had had the opportunity earlier when they were alone, and he had knocked Sebastian back. If Chris was trying to get back to being buddies this was not the way to do it.

“What are you playing at Chris?” Sebastian asked with a tone of contempt.

Chris shook his head, “Not here Seb.” He said looking to the patio where the girls were deep in conversation.

Sebastian put his hands on his hips and laughed, “Okay then, just know I’m not playing, whatever this is, I’m not playing.”

Sebastian could see the fear and panic in Chris’ eyes, he wasn’t about to say or do anything stupid. Sebastian went to move away but Chris reached out and grabbed his arm. “Wait.” Was all Chris said. Chris pulled at Sebastian to follow.

“Salad and prep are done.” Chris called out over his shoulder, “Just going to the study.” Chris didn’t wait on a reply from the girls.

Chris led Sebastian down the hall and into his study and closed the door behind him. He busied himself with putting on a couple of lights round the room. Sebastian didn’t move he just observed as Chris bumbled about nervously. Chris finally stopped sitting back against his desk, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. Sebastian felt a prang of guilt for his outburst, for someone that was built like Chris he sure knew how to make himself look vulnerable.

“I’m sorry.” Chris said looking up at Sebastian. “I know we said no more and I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Okay,” Sebastian said swallowing back all the things he felt he wanted to say.

“I… I don’t know where all this has come from Seb.” Chris looked at him earnestly. “I know it was one night but it… it feels like this dance has been going on for forever.”

Sebastian knew what he meant. This wasn’t just something that had happened over night. They had both known, they hadn’t spent all that time oblivious. They just hadn’t acted on it. Now that they had though it seemed like so much more than maybe it should be.

“I’ve never done this before Chris and like I said before I don’t want to ruin a good friendship but...” Sebastian said taking a step towards him. “I sure as hell don’t want to sit out there with my girlfriend and pretend everything is ok after you asked me to come here today; even though you had plenty of time to change your mind before I got here.”

Sebastian tried to control his voice as Chris held his stare with his own, Sebastian took a shaky breath. “Then you send me away, because you have a guilty conscience?”

Chris didn’t move or say a thing he just let Sebastian talk.  

“Why am I here? To watch you play happy families with your girlfriend? Then not two minutes later you are coming onto me in the kitchen while she is just metres away.” He said in a hushed angry voice.

Sebastian ran his hands over his face and sighed. He didn’t think Chris had done anything intentionally, he knew he was probably as confused as he was, but Sebastian wasn’t someone that was going to play games, especially with so many people’s feelings involved.

“You are sending all these mixed messages and I don’t think you know what you want.” Sebastian moved closer. “I’m not asking for some declaration of feelings, I can walk away from this and never mention it again. I just need to know where I stand and not be messed about.”

Chris stood up and was in Sebastian’s space, “Do you know what I want? I want a night when I don’t think about you when I’m lying in bed with my girlfriend.” Chris said shaking his head. “The last month I’ve been saying one thing to her and feeling another. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

Sebastian dropped his gaze, he couldn’t look Chris in the eye, he was killing him with that stare, so open and vulnerable. He settled on watching the pulse in Chris’ neck. He watched his throat move up and down as he swallowed.

“I didn’t mean for this to get so heavy Chris.” Sebastian said. “I just don’t want to be made a fool of and I don’t want to hurt people either.”

Chris was hesitant but when Sebastian didn’t move away, he cupped his cheek, Sebastian found himself leaning into Chris' touch despite himself.

“I do want you.” Chris said making sure Sebastian was looking at him, “I know coming here and dinner wasn’t the best idea but I’m not ready to just let this go when I’ve not even scratched the surface.” The pad of his thumb brushed over Sebastian’s lips. “I’m sorry, and if you want to walk away, I won’t stop you but… I want you.”

Chris watched as Sebastian licked his lips and followed with his own tongue. He licked along Sebastian’s bottom lip and felt himself tense at the hot gasping breath that Sebastian let out. Sebastian let his hands come up and resedt on Chris’ waist. He couldn’t stop his fingers from digging onto his skin as Chris deepen their kiss, letting his tongue explore Sebastian’s mouth.

“I want you.” Chris said into their kiss.

“Okay.” Was all Sebastian could manage as Chris grabbed his ass and pulled him until they were flush. Sebastian ground his hips against Chris. His hands were under his shirt and feeling every inch of Chris’ back and chest, his fingers found the hard bud of Chris’ nipple and he squeezed it. Chris let out a hiss and bit Sebastian’s bottom lip.

Sebastian knew he could easily lose control right now with his emotions running high, but he was all too aware of his surroundings. Chris had given him all he needed right now. There was going to be a chance of them spending time on the press tour to explore what this could or couldn’t be but right now with Jenny and Margo just down the hall they had to stop.

Sebastian tried to pull away, “Chris.” Chris’s lips worked down Sebastian’s neck his tongue running over the stubble there. “Chris, we need to stop.” Chris moaned, he knew why but he held on. “Chris.” Sebastian warned.

Chris finally looked up scared that Sebastian was going to pull away or be annoyed. All he saw was a smile on Sebastian’s face that was laden with mischief.

“Later not right now, not here.” Sebastian planted on kiss on his lips and pulled himself free. Chris was flushed and he could only imagine what he must look like after Chris had been all over him with his beard.

“I shouldn’t have let you go today, huh?” Chris said trying to straighten himself out.

“Nope.” Sebastian said with a wink. Backing off towards the door. Chris just a step behind him.

“You are going to make me wait?” Chris asked a smile flashed as Sebastian backed up against the door.

“Consider it payback.” Sebastian said with a smirk.

Sebastian turned but before he could open the door Chris’ lips were on the nape of his neck and his hand pressing against his cock through his jeans. Sebastian bit his lip to stop himself moaning out.

“No dessert for you then.” Chris mused opening the door for Sebastian.

Dinner had been much more relaxed but there was no keeping their eyes off each other. Sebastian had had to check himself several times after he realised, he was looking at Chris even when he wasn’t talking.

“Europe,” Jenny gushed, “aw I wish I was coming with you guys.”

Chris laughed trying to wave it off, “It’s not like we are going to get to see outside of a hotel.” Chris looked at Sebastian who gave a knowing smile. “It should be fun though.”

“Definitely. Fun.” Sebastian agreed.


End file.
